Stuck with explaining yourself?
We climbed up on a hill one evening. It was almost dark outside. Me, my husband, our dog and the children. It sometimes happens with me that I take time to process something and suddenly the “download” is ready and I reach a fresh and new step in the spiral of evolution, expansion and understanding. It happened this time when my husband simply hugged me up there, where he said that he can breathe freely and then told me that he needs no reason to love me. He just does.
Now. It may seem like a simple sentence that we can all relate to. And on the mind level, it seems like a no-brainer. But up there, on the hill, I suddenly got it.
You know the feeling, right? When something simple suddenly hits home in a totally new way and dashes through your whole body and understanding like a lightning?
I had been going around, actually, my whole life in a way, looking for reasons to love people and reasons to make certain decisions and the undercover agent of personality tried to make my “subjects of love” and “decisions” to match the identity that I had created for myself. For example, in my mind, I had created a dog. A perfect dog for me. For my perfect identity. And when my dog did not match this identity matching dog, I had a hard time loving her. And it was not only about the dog. I had subconsciously projected the same check-point onto almost everyone in my life. And no, it’s not about me. You do it too. We all have a made-up subconscious identity, an inner picture of ourselves that binds together our every choice.
And be aware, identity matching husband or child or dog or house does not have to be society matching or perfect… it’s tricky like that. It just has to match your personal subconscious identity.
The moment I realised that, up high on that hill, with each and every one of my cells, and not just my mind, I was suddenly totally free! And it was suddenly so easy to love…everyone!
But the door that opened did not just open into this one room, although even this would have been totally enough. I also realised that I can make decisions that have no reason. I can simply sell my home, for no reason whatsoever and move to a different place, for no reason whatsoever. I don’t have to research to make sure if it’s the perfect place and will it match my identity and my current life and wishes…no. I can just trust my feeling. Follow my feeling. And make totally unreasonable and bold choices whenever I feel like it.
I had stepped into the realm of inner spontaneity and inner freedom and could allow my mind to take a break from finding the good and the bad and the pros and cons. (And be aware that I’m actually not a very new player in this field, but the identity-duality of this world simply runs some parts of our lives without us realising until we do…realise…and put an end to it.) So on that hill, I had stepped into nonduality.
So yes. Dear one. You do not need a reason to love. Or decide. Or make a move.
You do not even need a reason to live.
Now ponder that. You are free.
Hi! I’m IIDALA, aka Iida-Leena Materasu, and I’m a professional therapist, writer, spiritual guide, mother, woman, and human being, who has walked the path of healing for more than 20 years. I facilitate breathwork and nondual healing groups, offer courses, subscription programs, and silent nature hikes as well as receive clients one-on-one live and via zoom. To book a session or get more info on NONDUAL courses or programs, feel free to explore the website or contact me directly.
Dear One, feel free to send me a letter and connect! I’d love to hear what you think, and if you have any questions!