The inner willingness
“I do want it and I’m totally ready! But…I just don’t know…how?!”
One comfy and sweet and lie we happen to tell ourselves.
All that is not currently present in my life and not in the obvious process of becoming that I actively participate in is missing on only one solid reason: my inner willingness to allow it into my reality is still too low. Or to rephrase it: this part of me, that does not (yet) want those new things/situations/abilities, is (still) too dominant and relevant.
People underestimate (big time) their own level of resistance and their own level of responsibility in the unfolding of their own lives. For every bigger wish we have, we can actually locate n+1 fears connected to the process of this wish becoming into reality or what would happen when it actually came true or just some resisting thoughts and thought patterns (thoughts we have effectively allowed into our cells on vibrational level), that simply stop this wish in its becoming.
A lot of it can also be allocated to the very simple underlying vibe of “I am afraid of my feelings”. Cause what is the greatest fear of a human being? To feel the feelings that come up in various situations. Maybe it will all…just…be…too uncomfortable?
What if we’d learn to relax into this discomfort? Really…what if? Maybe we’d turn into discomfort junkies, who will readily jump into new decisions and move forward like fast trains, living in spontaneity, trust and taking brave risks? Risking…in joy…yes! What will this discomfort transform into when I relax into it? Ooooooooo…try it out!
But wait-wait-wait…this argument of “I am ready, but I just don’t know how” - what was actually wrong with it? Well..it just doesn’t add up. As “how” is never our job. Our job is to be ready. Readiness means inner curiosity: so much so, that you will actually look into it and take steps toward it. Yes, I am ready to try. Yes, I am ready to test different options. Yes, I am ready to fail and try again. Yes, I am ready to look into possibilities. And so we will start to see…what is possible? And then I can ask with pure curiosity and sincere interest: how? Not trying to answer it myself any longer, but just living in curiosity, joy and opening doors. Now behind this first door…there might be a closet (dead end!), or someone else’s bedroom (“oh, pardon, I’m leaving..”) or a disco party (“can’t hear a thing! I think that’s not it!”), but there will also be a door that will open and you will feel like… “Aah, exactly what I was looking for!” When I truly embody this sincere willingness and don’t take my own wishes so dead seriously anymore, then the path is laid out for me. Just like that.
Cause life is meant for having fun, trying stuff out, laughing and failing and ….relaxing into discomfort.
Inner willingness…for this and that and oh, that too? Naaaah…micromanagement. The current that moves our wishes forward in an instant is the inner willingness to LIVE!
Hi! I’m IIDALA, aka Iida-Leena Materasu, and I’m a professional therapist, writer, spiritual guide, mother, woman, and human being, who has walked the path of healing for more than 20 years. I facilitate breathwork and nondual healing groups, offer courses, subscription programs, and silent nature hikes as well as receive clients one-on-one live and via zoom. To book a session or get more info on NONDUAL courses or programs, feel free to explore the website or contact me directly.
Dear One, feel free to send me a letter and connect! I’d love to hear what you think, and if you have any questions!