Let’s talk about toxic positivity…
We all know someone who is just…too hopeful. Don’t we? And it makes us feel a bit uncomfortable or deeply unsafe. Rightfully so.
Toxic positivity is actually a deep discomfort around feelings, emotions and sensations in the body. It is a trauma response.
It is when we don’t allow ourselves to truly see what is going on, what am I feeling and what do I want - because we don’t know how to handle the energy. Toxic positivity is dishonest and disrespectful and it stops us from responding to the situation in the way it truly needs.
We all inherently know that we can’t trust someone who is too positive, because we know that this person can not handle the life energy the way that is needed for solutions, resolutions, responsibility and healing.
One side of toxic positivity is relying on false hope. “I don’t want to take responsibility for taking needed action and/or I do not know how to act from my core, therefore I say things like “I’m sure you are going to win” and “It’s all gonna be fine”. This is almost the same as saying that “when the police turns off the sirens, crime ceases to exist”.
Instead of toxic positivity, let’s try to become intimately connected to the Uncertainty of Life and to our deep core resources:
“I don’t know how this is going to go, but I am sure that whatever happens, I am able to handle it with wisdom, good tempo and through clarity and love.”
“You may win today, and you may also lose or break a leg. But that is all safe, because I am here for you, no matter how it goes.”
“Things are not going to be “fine” on their own. Let’s look into this. What is your deepest fear? How can I support you to feel safe? What are the necessary steps to take?”
Life is like an ocean. Ocean is wild, but always on your side. It is not always gentle and kind, it is simply everything. It teaches you through all means possible. But you are eternal and you have power and you can choose how to use your energy. Life teaches you how to use it well. We will receive our lessons in gratitude, we will take notes and we will shift, change and transform.
It is okay to aim high and hold the vision. It is okay know your intentions and choose the highest thought. As long as you are also connected to the very real energy dashing through your body and all of the sensations that it creates at the same time, and you are not afraid of it or trying to “make it less”.
Herein lies your true power. This is how you become truly trustworthy. This is how you can COMMUNICATE with life, circumstances and other people in meaningful ways and make everyone around you feeling calm, safe, centred and heard.
Yei! :)
Hi! I’m IIDALA aka Iida-Leena Materasu, and I’m a professional therapist, writer, spiritual mentor, mother, woman, and human being, who has walked the path of healing for more than 20 years. I facilitate breathwork and nondual healing groups, offer courses, subscription programs, and silent nature walks as well as receive clients one-on-one live and via zoom. I’m based in North-West Ireland, but work internationally. To book a session or get more info on NONDUAL courses or programs, feel free to explore the website or contact me directly.