When it’s time to cry
Did you know that Egyptian women used to collect tears to poison their husbands? The body releases tears to release physical and emotional toxins and tensions. To say don’t cry is to say, “keep all your toxins in and poison yourself”.
Kids are usually good at crying. They don’t tend to hold much in; they live and express themselves in the moment. Grown-ups, on the other hand, are quite well versed in gathering, holding and preserving mental, emotional and physical tensions. We usually need two things to cry: a very strong reason (high stress; strong emotion; grief; complete overwhelm…) AND a safe atmosphere to let go. For a lot of people - this kind of atmosphere does not exist. Even “home alone” is not always enough.
I know that my clients usually feel very safe in therapy settings. That’s why they come - to have this safe space to cry, express, and heal. It’s not rare for people to step into my physical or digital space and start crying immediately. And that’s a good thing! That’s what I’m there for.
But I realised that I myself didn’t always feel safe in different situations and with different people, and without any good or real reason. It was not the body’s response to the NOW (which sometimes might also happen), but it was the reaction to some unkind PAST experience taking over my presence. And that started to create a lot of unnecessary tension.
And so. I made a decision. My new mantra was: “I am the safest person in this park/on this plane/on this street/at this meeting…”. When my mantra is I AM SAFE instead of THIS IS SAFE or HE IS SAFE, it creates a wholly different playing field. We start creating the needed change in the very foundation of everything. And so. Integrating this thought created some interesting phenomenons:
I, myself began to feel easily safe and relaxed in different settings.
I got access to my own inner resources and know-how to effortlessly resolve any conflict at hand.
And (some) people felt even more safe around me to express: to cry, to express their anger, or thoughts they wouldn’t otherwise share.
HEALING was effortlessly taking place for me and for the people I encountered.
And that’s it. It’s a simple thing, but it can take you on a path of healing, much like Alice and the rabbit hole. Let your body and your whole system know that YOU ARE SAFE. “I AM SAFE.” And see what happens.
And whenever tears are involved - let them fall! The day is always nice and clear after a good shower.
Hi! I’m IIDALA aka Iida-Leena Materasu ,and I’m a professional therapist, writer, spiritual mentor, mother, woman, and human being, who has walked the path of healing for more than 20 years. I facilitate breathwork and nondual healing groups, offer courses, subscription programs, and silent nature hikes as well as receive clients one-on-one live and via zoom. To book a session or get more info on NONDUAL courses or programs, feel free to explore the website or contact me directly.