There is no right or wrong way to do life
No matter what society tries to tell you: Life on Earth is an improvisation. There is no right or wrong way to do it. It’s Jazz. And until you are not going to smash the instruments, you have a right to define your own melody.
It is easier to grasp when you have travelled a lot and seen how different cultures do things differently. But it’s also valid on a personal level. It’s logical - we are all equally defining what “living” means and how to do it. And at the same time, a lot of us suffer from this cruel and whispering voice saying: “only make the “right” decisions”.
When we allow ourselves out of the cage of the right way-wrong way, we experience a great sense of liberation. This is not a one-time-all-done kinda thing though: our habitual thought patterns and subconscious inklings try to put us back in the familiar cage to keep us “safe”. We try to avoid prosecution from the ones who still firmly believe in right and wrong and present themselves as authorities in the whole matter (moms, dads, teachers, politicians, neighbours, uncle Bobs). Through avoiding judgement, we avoid our own feelings: when your mom says, “you HAVE to do it differently - do it my way!”, or gives you “the look”, it is most often that you end up feeling unease: tightness in the chest, in the throat… and us as humans, oh, we tend to be afraid of our own feelings.
The paradox is (and the truth is most often found in the paradox), that the more we surrender to the idea of no right/no wrong way to do Life, the more we are inclined to make Life-supporting choices for ourselves. It is simply physics: holding the dualistic idea of right and wrong manifests as holding tensions in your body. When you let this go, you can feel an immediate release - a sense of freedom. And in this freedom and newfound flow, we start to hear the individual guidance that will always guide us towards more joy, more freedom, more health and more relaxation.
And to make it clear: It is not wrong not to follow this guidance or not to hear it. It is not right to follow it and hear it. It is simply a choice you can make, and all of your choices are VALID. You are the authority here. You are the musician. You are allowed to decide and decide again.
What can we take from this?
It is not wrong to stay indoors in sunny weather.
It is not wrong to take your time with deciding.
It is not wrong to earn less than average or less than the minimum.
It is not wrong to allow your children to grow up without school.
It is not wrong to put your shirt on backwards.
It is not wrong to fall asleep without brushing your teeth.
You are FREE to do LIFE however you want. We are all just improvising. And when that freedom hits you, you will better understand what this “What Do I Want” really means each moment.
Hi! I’m IIDALA aka Iida-Leena Materasu ,and I’m a professional therapist, writer, spiritual mentor, mother, woman, and human being, who has walked the path of healing for more than 20 years. I facilitate breathwork and nondual healing groups, offer courses, subscription programs, and silent nature hikes as well as receive clients one-on-one live and via zoom. To book a session or get more info on NONDUAL courses or programs, feel free to explore the website or contact me directly.